Post by Twilight on Jan 4, 2008 20:24:39 GMT -5
This story went through a few different phases as I was writing it. Originally, it was more serious and was titled "The Silver Pool," after a puddle of sorts which would do something (I hadn't even figured out what) when it was touched. The plot strayed far away from my original intention, so last week, I decided to start from scratch. The pool was taken out completely. Really the only thing I did keep was the main character and the fact it took place in a forest. The "monster" was inspired by creatures in two of my favorite shows, LOST and Stargate Atlantis. Well, I've rambled on long enough. The story is one of the longest I've ever written. I don't think there is anything worth warning about. Enjoy. 
Comments and criticisms are appreciated.
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It was quiet, quiet enough for him to hear every footfall and every leaf’s separate song. Smells of earth, musty leaves, and freshly scented pines tickled his nose as his hand spread through the dirt, catching bits of sticks and pebbles between his fingers. Triel’s eyes opened from his nap as he looked around the old forest, noticing how the sun streaming through the trees made it seem like he was underwater. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes as he stood up. It was strange; it couldn’t really remember how he had gotten there. Maybe that was why the forest was off-limits to most people.
A bird tore through the trees as he wandered in the direction he supposed was south. It was the first animal Triel had seen since he had woken up. He moved on still, through the trees’ chorus, trying to find the path he could have sworn was right in front of him. After about an hour of passing through areas which all looked the same to him, he sat down on a nearby stone with a plop.
He pursed his lips, wondering if the Mother would be angry with him for being gone so long. She was a funny but wonderful woman. He remembered her tender smile and worn, soft brown eyes. And then there were the others, all of the other children who were family to him.
Triel absentmindedly took a stone out of his satchel. It was nothing special at first glance, just a small quartz crystal with a string tied around it so that it could be worn as a pendant. But to the boy, it was a treasure. His older Brother had given it to him, the only gift he had ever gotten from him. The stone was different, he said. It couldn’t be cut by a blade, and it would never wear down over time. It was the only crystal of its kind.
The light shone through the gem, sending iridescent sparkles through the trees. Something moved in the bushes, seemingly reacting to the beams. Triel slipped the stone away and leaned forward, trying to peer into the darkness. The bushes rustled again.
The boy reached back, and his hand found a stick to defend himself with. It wasn’t much, but at least it may fend off a squirrel. It was silent, absolutely silent for a long moment, until something came out of the bush. Triel gasped, and he held the stick over his head like a club. It was a claw, or something in between a hand and a claw. At first, it seemed like a normal human’s hand, but smaller. But then he noticed the fur covering the hand-claw; it was brown, almost an auburn color, and there were only four fingers, fingers with curved nails.
Then the claw vanished back into the shrub and a creature with groggy eyes poked its face up. It looked a little bit like a cat but with ears like a rabbit and long, shaggy eyebrows. Big, amber eyes looked up at Triel from about his waist level. The creature sat down and crossed its legs like a human. “Who’re you?” it said with a voice somewhere between the sound of a dozen flutes and a person.
Triel blinked. He wasn’t sure if he should hit it or answer back. “I’m… My name is Triel.” The stick was still held above his head so he began to lower it.
The thing’s ears twitched and its tail, which looked like a cat’s but with a tuft of fur at the end, swished back and forth. “I’ve never heard of a Triel before,” it mused. “Is it anything like an aquerna?”
“A what?” Now he held the stick like a staff. He wasn’t comfortable with the thing to let it go completely though. “Triel’s my name. It’s… it’s not a type of animal. I’m a human, but what are you supposed to be?”
The thing scratched itself with its hind leg, seemingly hardly even paying attention. “I’m an aquerna, of course. What’re you? Stupid? And humans are gone. Gone, gone, gone.” The aquerna grinned, showing off a row of sharp teeth. “You must be lying then.”
“I’m not lying,” he protested. “I don’t even know what’s going on. After I woke up…” he trailed off.
“You woke up here?” Its eyes widened. “If you woke up in this forest with no memory of how you got here…” The creature stopped and stared at the ground thoughtfully.
“What?” Triel swallowed. “What is it?”
It looked back up at the boy. “The ancient legend of Cerain says that you are destined to be our hero.”
“Wh-what!” He fell backwards on the boulder behind him.
The thing laughed hysterically as it rolled around in the dust. Eventually, it sat up and wiped a tear from its eye with its claw. “I’m just pullin’ your leg, kid.” After a few more seconds, it seemed to have regained some composure. “Well, I wasn’t lying when I said that there were no more humans. None of you have been in this part of the forest for hundreds of years.” It absentmindedly scratched its neck. “By the way, my name’s Cerain.”
“Why did you have to do that?”
“Because it was fun. That’s something I can tell my grandchildren, you know. ‘Cerain the great tricked a mighty human!’” he, for Triel guessed that it was male, said dramatically. “I can see it now.”
“But how did I get here then?”
“How should I know? You’re the one who decided it was a good idea to take a snooze in these woods.”
Triel hugged his arms; it was beginning to get cold. Night would fall soon. “But why is it forbidden?” he asked himself.
Just then, a thunderous noise sounded through the forest. Cerain sat up bolt straight, his ears perked up. A few seconds passed. Then there was a hideous groaning noise, almost as loud as the thunder, and the trees right in front of where the two were resting shook violently.
Cerain took a last glance at the boy and then bounded off into the deeper woods. Triel backed up until his he stood against an old oak tree. He once again held the measly stick for defense. As the unseen thing blared again, two pines in front of him erupted from the earth as if they were torn by some unseen hand. He felt his knees shake and his teeth clatter together. Nothing he could do would make his stubborn limbs move. The earth shook. Whatever it was, it was walking.
At last his legs decided to stir. Triel dashed into the forest, after the aquerna, but he didn’t get far. The boy tripped over a rock, and by a stroke of coincidence or perhaps luck, the precious stone fell out of its bag. Almost by its own accord, it rolled past his outstretched hand, through the forest, and right into the clearing where the invisible monster more than likely waited for someone stupid enough to become its snack.
Triel gulped, and, without even thinking, ran straight towards the gem. He felt something like steamy breath on the back of his neck. He touched his prize. The crystal suddenly shot out a light brighter than he had ever seen before. The little stone was nearly as bright as the sun itself, but it didn’t hurt for the boy to look at. He tore his eyes away from the glorious thing just long enough for him to scoop it up into his hand. He glanced around, prepared to run for his life again if the monster came at him, but there was nothing there. There was no sound, no sickly warm breath. It was gone.
Triel slumped down to the ground with a sigh. After a few seconds, Cerain decided to show his cowardly little face again. “That was some stunt you pulled,” he said, moving back to the center of the clearing. “What is that thing?” he asked, pointing to the gem still clenched in Triel’s fist.
“It’s just a crystal. I don’t know what just happened.” He opened his hand; the stone looked the same as it normally did. “But what was that monster?” he asked, turning to the aquerna.
He shuttered. “We just call it the Shadow. No one’s gotten close enough to it to give the thing a more creative name.” One of his ears twitched. “I think you were the first one who’s gotten that close and lived to tell the tale.”
“I just want to go home.” He looked up through the canopy where the sun should be. It was too late for it to be visible though. “What’s this place like after dark?”
“That’s when the Shadow normally comes out. It must have liked you or something to come out early.” The creature was trying to be lighthearted, but it was plain he was as terrified of the monster as Triel.
“I just want to go home,” he repeated. Triel stood up determinedly. “Which direction are the humans?”
Cerain’s rabbit ears drooped. “Are you crazy? That thing will eat you in a heartbeat if you go out there alone!”
The boy frowned. “I’m not going alone. Cerain, you’re the only living thing I’ve seen in this forest aside from a bird and that Shadow. I need you to help me get out of here.” He opened his fist again. “And I have this. It seems to be able to scare that monster off.”
He violently shook his head. “You’re crazy. Completely nuts! There’s no way I’m going anywhere with y—!”
Another noise cut him off. The thunder. The Shadow was coming for them again. This time the groaning was a bit fainter. They still had time to escape.
The aquerna tore off into the woods, but Triel was able to follow him. Trees passed by at a blur as he sprinted through the branches and thorns blocking his path. His face was stinging with minor cuts and sweat. After a few minutes, Cerain stopped and glanced around like a prairie dog on alert. “I think we lost it,” he said.
There was a sound of thunder as another tree was uprooted. Cerain and Triel darted down a new pathway. It was getting even more difficult to see through the twilight. They wouldn’t be able to go on like this for much further. After about ten straight minutes of running, Triel collapsed against a tree, unable to keep going. Cerain stopped as well and fell to the ground. “Why can’t you do that thing with the crystal again?” he said into the dirt.
“I don’t even know how I did it the first time.” He took out the stone and rolled it around on his palm, willing it to do something. The rock just stared back blankly.
“It’s only a matter of time before that thing comes back,” Cerain said, now on his back.
Triel clenched his teeth. How was he going to get home now? This forest was huge. Even if they did manage to escape the Shadow, there was no way he would be able to find his way back to the human side of the forest. In his frustration, he threw the stone at the ground, sat down, and put his head between his knees.
“Hey, kid.”
He looked up. Cerain was staring at something, the stone he had just thrown. It was rolling away into the deeper woods, much the same as it had done when the monster came for the first time. Triel watched it as well, out of curiosity. When it moved out of view, both human and aquerna followed. The thing teetered its way in between rocks and sticks and brush until it finally settled on a spot. The boy rushed forward to pick it up. It didn’t glow this time, but he did notice something that was almost as spectacular. “The path,” he exclaimed. “We found the path again!”
Cerain grinned. “That thing seems smarter than you, Triel.”
Triel laughed, despite the joke being made on his expense. There was a way home after all.
An eruption echoed throughout the woods. Then another. Water droplets from an earlier rain sprinkled down from the leaves overhead. A noise as if the earth was tearing sounded right in front of the two. Then a second. Triel could feel the hot breath once again.
He fumbled with the gem, trying to squeeze it, breathe on it, even talk to it. Nothing happened. It stared just as vacantly as ever. “No,” he cried softly. Triel flinched, awaiting the end.
The gem was ripped out of his hand by a claw. Triel opened his eyes. Cerain ran forward to the Shadow, holding the treasure high in the air. It roared deafeningly, and the earth quaked, making the trees sway back and forth. Then the stone was let loose. It soared through the air, reflecting the dieing sun’s rays as it had done only a few hours before. The gem hit something, and stuck.
There was breathless second when nothing at all happened. Suddenly, with a burst of light, far brighter than before, the invisible thing groaned. This time it was in pain. Something flashed within the radiance which seemed to suck the light away for a moment. The Shadow creature crackled like a fire. Then it was gone. A flurry of dead leaves from every kind of tree imaginable fluttered to the ground and was soon swept away by a gust of wind.
Triel stared at the empty air in silence for a few moments. Cerain walked forward with shaking legs and picked up the little stone. He looked at the boy with an expressionless face.
“Something you can tell your grandchildren?” he finally said.
The aquerna snickered. “‘Cerain the great conquered the mighty Shadow, with the foolish human’s help, of course.’ I can see it now.”
An hour or so later, a boy wandered out of the old forbidden woods and into the rapidly fading evening light of the field. His clothes were ragged and torn, and his face was scratched, but he wore a large smile on his face. He strolled up the hillside where the old Castletop Orphanage sat majestically overlooking the area. The gate was locked, as the boy suspected, but he just sat down in front of the entrance and stared pleasantly at the building.
After a few minutes, another boy, about five years his elder ran up to the younger child. “Triel! Where were you? The Mother was worried sick about you. She got her habit all tied up in a bunch and yelled at me.” He frowned, dropping the pile of wood he was carrying on the ground. “You better have a good excuse,” he said flatly.
Triel grinned. “I took a walk in the forest, but then I woke up after a nap I don’t remember taking. I walked around for a bit and…” He told him everything, every unbelievable detail, from the furry aquerna to the terrifying Shadow creature. The older boy’s skepticism could be seen growing with every passing word.
“And I suppose you don’t have any proof.”
He frowned. He didn’t. There was no way his Brother would believe that story. He took the stone out of his pocket again. Cerain was nice enough to give it back to him. As he uselessly tried to make the stone glow again, he noticed something, a scuff, on the gem. He directed the older boy to look at it. If the monster had somehow scratched it, then his Brother would have to believe him.
The two bent in closer to the crystal seated on the boy’s open palm, their faces so close they were almost touching. On the gem that was impossible to scratch were scrawled three miniscule words: IT’S NO LIE.
Comments and criticisms are appreciated.-----------------------------------------
The Shadow in the Trees
It was quiet, quiet enough for him to hear every footfall and every leaf’s separate song. Smells of earth, musty leaves, and freshly scented pines tickled his nose as his hand spread through the dirt, catching bits of sticks and pebbles between his fingers. Triel’s eyes opened from his nap as he looked around the old forest, noticing how the sun streaming through the trees made it seem like he was underwater. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes as he stood up. It was strange; it couldn’t really remember how he had gotten there. Maybe that was why the forest was off-limits to most people.
A bird tore through the trees as he wandered in the direction he supposed was south. It was the first animal Triel had seen since he had woken up. He moved on still, through the trees’ chorus, trying to find the path he could have sworn was right in front of him. After about an hour of passing through areas which all looked the same to him, he sat down on a nearby stone with a plop.
He pursed his lips, wondering if the Mother would be angry with him for being gone so long. She was a funny but wonderful woman. He remembered her tender smile and worn, soft brown eyes. And then there were the others, all of the other children who were family to him.
Triel absentmindedly took a stone out of his satchel. It was nothing special at first glance, just a small quartz crystal with a string tied around it so that it could be worn as a pendant. But to the boy, it was a treasure. His older Brother had given it to him, the only gift he had ever gotten from him. The stone was different, he said. It couldn’t be cut by a blade, and it would never wear down over time. It was the only crystal of its kind.
The light shone through the gem, sending iridescent sparkles through the trees. Something moved in the bushes, seemingly reacting to the beams. Triel slipped the stone away and leaned forward, trying to peer into the darkness. The bushes rustled again.
The boy reached back, and his hand found a stick to defend himself with. It wasn’t much, but at least it may fend off a squirrel. It was silent, absolutely silent for a long moment, until something came out of the bush. Triel gasped, and he held the stick over his head like a club. It was a claw, or something in between a hand and a claw. At first, it seemed like a normal human’s hand, but smaller. But then he noticed the fur covering the hand-claw; it was brown, almost an auburn color, and there were only four fingers, fingers with curved nails.
Then the claw vanished back into the shrub and a creature with groggy eyes poked its face up. It looked a little bit like a cat but with ears like a rabbit and long, shaggy eyebrows. Big, amber eyes looked up at Triel from about his waist level. The creature sat down and crossed its legs like a human. “Who’re you?” it said with a voice somewhere between the sound of a dozen flutes and a person.
Triel blinked. He wasn’t sure if he should hit it or answer back. “I’m… My name is Triel.” The stick was still held above his head so he began to lower it.
The thing’s ears twitched and its tail, which looked like a cat’s but with a tuft of fur at the end, swished back and forth. “I’ve never heard of a Triel before,” it mused. “Is it anything like an aquerna?”
“A what?” Now he held the stick like a staff. He wasn’t comfortable with the thing to let it go completely though. “Triel’s my name. It’s… it’s not a type of animal. I’m a human, but what are you supposed to be?”
The thing scratched itself with its hind leg, seemingly hardly even paying attention. “I’m an aquerna, of course. What’re you? Stupid? And humans are gone. Gone, gone, gone.” The aquerna grinned, showing off a row of sharp teeth. “You must be lying then.”
“I’m not lying,” he protested. “I don’t even know what’s going on. After I woke up…” he trailed off.
“You woke up here?” Its eyes widened. “If you woke up in this forest with no memory of how you got here…” The creature stopped and stared at the ground thoughtfully.
“What?” Triel swallowed. “What is it?”
It looked back up at the boy. “The ancient legend of Cerain says that you are destined to be our hero.”
“Wh-what!” He fell backwards on the boulder behind him.
The thing laughed hysterically as it rolled around in the dust. Eventually, it sat up and wiped a tear from its eye with its claw. “I’m just pullin’ your leg, kid.” After a few more seconds, it seemed to have regained some composure. “Well, I wasn’t lying when I said that there were no more humans. None of you have been in this part of the forest for hundreds of years.” It absentmindedly scratched its neck. “By the way, my name’s Cerain.”
“Why did you have to do that?”
“Because it was fun. That’s something I can tell my grandchildren, you know. ‘Cerain the great tricked a mighty human!’” he, for Triel guessed that it was male, said dramatically. “I can see it now.”
“But how did I get here then?”
“How should I know? You’re the one who decided it was a good idea to take a snooze in these woods.”
Triel hugged his arms; it was beginning to get cold. Night would fall soon. “But why is it forbidden?” he asked himself.
Just then, a thunderous noise sounded through the forest. Cerain sat up bolt straight, his ears perked up. A few seconds passed. Then there was a hideous groaning noise, almost as loud as the thunder, and the trees right in front of where the two were resting shook violently.
Cerain took a last glance at the boy and then bounded off into the deeper woods. Triel backed up until his he stood against an old oak tree. He once again held the measly stick for defense. As the unseen thing blared again, two pines in front of him erupted from the earth as if they were torn by some unseen hand. He felt his knees shake and his teeth clatter together. Nothing he could do would make his stubborn limbs move. The earth shook. Whatever it was, it was walking.
At last his legs decided to stir. Triel dashed into the forest, after the aquerna, but he didn’t get far. The boy tripped over a rock, and by a stroke of coincidence or perhaps luck, the precious stone fell out of its bag. Almost by its own accord, it rolled past his outstretched hand, through the forest, and right into the clearing where the invisible monster more than likely waited for someone stupid enough to become its snack.
Triel gulped, and, without even thinking, ran straight towards the gem. He felt something like steamy breath on the back of his neck. He touched his prize. The crystal suddenly shot out a light brighter than he had ever seen before. The little stone was nearly as bright as the sun itself, but it didn’t hurt for the boy to look at. He tore his eyes away from the glorious thing just long enough for him to scoop it up into his hand. He glanced around, prepared to run for his life again if the monster came at him, but there was nothing there. There was no sound, no sickly warm breath. It was gone.
Triel slumped down to the ground with a sigh. After a few seconds, Cerain decided to show his cowardly little face again. “That was some stunt you pulled,” he said, moving back to the center of the clearing. “What is that thing?” he asked, pointing to the gem still clenched in Triel’s fist.
“It’s just a crystal. I don’t know what just happened.” He opened his hand; the stone looked the same as it normally did. “But what was that monster?” he asked, turning to the aquerna.
He shuttered. “We just call it the Shadow. No one’s gotten close enough to it to give the thing a more creative name.” One of his ears twitched. “I think you were the first one who’s gotten that close and lived to tell the tale.”
“I just want to go home.” He looked up through the canopy where the sun should be. It was too late for it to be visible though. “What’s this place like after dark?”
“That’s when the Shadow normally comes out. It must have liked you or something to come out early.” The creature was trying to be lighthearted, but it was plain he was as terrified of the monster as Triel.
“I just want to go home,” he repeated. Triel stood up determinedly. “Which direction are the humans?”
Cerain’s rabbit ears drooped. “Are you crazy? That thing will eat you in a heartbeat if you go out there alone!”
The boy frowned. “I’m not going alone. Cerain, you’re the only living thing I’ve seen in this forest aside from a bird and that Shadow. I need you to help me get out of here.” He opened his fist again. “And I have this. It seems to be able to scare that monster off.”
He violently shook his head. “You’re crazy. Completely nuts! There’s no way I’m going anywhere with y—!”
Another noise cut him off. The thunder. The Shadow was coming for them again. This time the groaning was a bit fainter. They still had time to escape.
The aquerna tore off into the woods, but Triel was able to follow him. Trees passed by at a blur as he sprinted through the branches and thorns blocking his path. His face was stinging with minor cuts and sweat. After a few minutes, Cerain stopped and glanced around like a prairie dog on alert. “I think we lost it,” he said.
There was a sound of thunder as another tree was uprooted. Cerain and Triel darted down a new pathway. It was getting even more difficult to see through the twilight. They wouldn’t be able to go on like this for much further. After about ten straight minutes of running, Triel collapsed against a tree, unable to keep going. Cerain stopped as well and fell to the ground. “Why can’t you do that thing with the crystal again?” he said into the dirt.
“I don’t even know how I did it the first time.” He took out the stone and rolled it around on his palm, willing it to do something. The rock just stared back blankly.
“It’s only a matter of time before that thing comes back,” Cerain said, now on his back.
Triel clenched his teeth. How was he going to get home now? This forest was huge. Even if they did manage to escape the Shadow, there was no way he would be able to find his way back to the human side of the forest. In his frustration, he threw the stone at the ground, sat down, and put his head between his knees.
“Hey, kid.”
He looked up. Cerain was staring at something, the stone he had just thrown. It was rolling away into the deeper woods, much the same as it had done when the monster came for the first time. Triel watched it as well, out of curiosity. When it moved out of view, both human and aquerna followed. The thing teetered its way in between rocks and sticks and brush until it finally settled on a spot. The boy rushed forward to pick it up. It didn’t glow this time, but he did notice something that was almost as spectacular. “The path,” he exclaimed. “We found the path again!”
Cerain grinned. “That thing seems smarter than you, Triel.”
Triel laughed, despite the joke being made on his expense. There was a way home after all.
An eruption echoed throughout the woods. Then another. Water droplets from an earlier rain sprinkled down from the leaves overhead. A noise as if the earth was tearing sounded right in front of the two. Then a second. Triel could feel the hot breath once again.
He fumbled with the gem, trying to squeeze it, breathe on it, even talk to it. Nothing happened. It stared just as vacantly as ever. “No,” he cried softly. Triel flinched, awaiting the end.
The gem was ripped out of his hand by a claw. Triel opened his eyes. Cerain ran forward to the Shadow, holding the treasure high in the air. It roared deafeningly, and the earth quaked, making the trees sway back and forth. Then the stone was let loose. It soared through the air, reflecting the dieing sun’s rays as it had done only a few hours before. The gem hit something, and stuck.
There was breathless second when nothing at all happened. Suddenly, with a burst of light, far brighter than before, the invisible thing groaned. This time it was in pain. Something flashed within the radiance which seemed to suck the light away for a moment. The Shadow creature crackled like a fire. Then it was gone. A flurry of dead leaves from every kind of tree imaginable fluttered to the ground and was soon swept away by a gust of wind.
Triel stared at the empty air in silence for a few moments. Cerain walked forward with shaking legs and picked up the little stone. He looked at the boy with an expressionless face.
“Something you can tell your grandchildren?” he finally said.
The aquerna snickered. “‘Cerain the great conquered the mighty Shadow, with the foolish human’s help, of course.’ I can see it now.”
An hour or so later, a boy wandered out of the old forbidden woods and into the rapidly fading evening light of the field. His clothes were ragged and torn, and his face was scratched, but he wore a large smile on his face. He strolled up the hillside where the old Castletop Orphanage sat majestically overlooking the area. The gate was locked, as the boy suspected, but he just sat down in front of the entrance and stared pleasantly at the building.
After a few minutes, another boy, about five years his elder ran up to the younger child. “Triel! Where were you? The Mother was worried sick about you. She got her habit all tied up in a bunch and yelled at me.” He frowned, dropping the pile of wood he was carrying on the ground. “You better have a good excuse,” he said flatly.
Triel grinned. “I took a walk in the forest, but then I woke up after a nap I don’t remember taking. I walked around for a bit and…” He told him everything, every unbelievable detail, from the furry aquerna to the terrifying Shadow creature. The older boy’s skepticism could be seen growing with every passing word.
“And I suppose you don’t have any proof.”
He frowned. He didn’t. There was no way his Brother would believe that story. He took the stone out of his pocket again. Cerain was nice enough to give it back to him. As he uselessly tried to make the stone glow again, he noticed something, a scuff, on the gem. He directed the older boy to look at it. If the monster had somehow scratched it, then his Brother would have to believe him.
The two bent in closer to the crystal seated on the boy’s open palm, their faces so close they were almost touching. On the gem that was impossible to scratch were scrawled three miniscule words: IT’S NO LIE.
