Talking Back [An InuYasha fanfiction]

[Yuliya]

TITLE: Talking Back
GENRE: Feudal Japan/Romance
RATING: PG-13
WARNINGS: Reference and strong implying of adult situations
OTHER: You don't have to know InuYasha to get this story, it takes place before the main timeline. However, you may want to look up pictures of the rest of the Band of Seven, or just watch this quick vid (No spoilers): www.youtube.com/watch?v=J3ockQnCe8E (Oh, and if you can't figure it out, Jakotsu is gay)
SUMMARY:

She was just a girl, living in her village. Her only goal in life was to eventually own a horse. At fifteen, what more could she want?

Then her life is turned upside down. The Band of Seven enter her village. At first everyone thinks they're going to be killed, but it turns out, all they want is a servant. And what are her chances of being picked, really?

But she makes a dire mistake, and looks the leader, Bankotsu in the eye. Quickly, she is chosen, and life as she knows it, and what she wants out of it, is changed forever.

---

Chapter One: The Day I First Saw Him

Everyone stopped what they were doing in fear. Never in all of their nightmares had they thought they'd be next. A few women even started crying as the warriors entered the village. Though there were only seven of them, everyone knew fighting back would be useless.

They stopped in the center of the village. Time seemed frozen as everyone awaited their terrible doom, for the blades to come out, and for all hell to be unleashed. That was when the youngest of the seven, yet the leader, began to speak,

"We are searching for a servant! You will give us whoever we choose, or your pathetic village will cease to exist."

A universal breath of relief was sighed. Only one was to be sacrificed for the village, but I tensed up. Surely they would want a young woman. After all, everyone of the seven warriors was male, and that was what I was. But surely, what were the chances that they would pick me? There were many girls in the village.

The young leader looked at all of us like he was some predator. Many of my friends whimpered as his eyes passed over them. My own father stepped in front of me, and my elder brother did the same. This was a dangerous thing to do, for they risking angering the Band of Seven for hiding me, but I was thankful that they cared that much about me.

I could still see under my brother's arm and watched intently as the warriors went around the circle.

"What's his name?" I asked ever so quietly to my father.

"The one in charge?" I nodded as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, and really, it was. He seemed different from the others, with his cold stare and bangs threatening to block his vision.

"That's Bankotsu," my father said. He must have heard his name for he looked in our direction. That was when I made the mistake of making eye contact. His eyes locked onto mine. The world paused, and his vision seared through me like he was finding everything about me just by looking at me, whereas, when I looked back, there was a wall that hid his emotions from the world. For a second, I wanted to break down that wall, and then I ducked. He and his warriors were ruthless killers; I would rather die than go with them.

I started panting, regretting my mistake, but it seemed like I had gotten off the hook...

That was when just one hand pushed my father aside and grabbed my hair. Pain seared through my scalp as his rough fingers pulled me with him. My brother stepped forward to challenge him, but one jab from the handle of Bankotsu's halberd sent him backwards into the crowd.

"This one will do."

I will not cry, I told myself. Crying was weak. Weak people would never survive the Band of Seven. As I was dragged away, I looked back at my village. Both sorrow and relief were in their eyes. I was the sacrifice.

Look at me

I will never pass for a perfect bride
Or a perfect daughter
can it be
I'm not meant to play this part?
Now I see
That if I were truly
To be myself
I would break my fam'ly's heart

Who is that girl I see
Staring straight
Back at me?
Why is my reflection someone
I don't know?
Somehow I cannot hide
Who I am
Though I've tried
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside

[Yuliya]

Chapter Two: Becoming Slave-Girl

A few miles away, he finally let go of me. I immediately started rubbing my head, only to feel other hands as well as they put my hair back into place. They were softer, and I was startled to see they belonged to one of the warriors...only he seemed more feminine.

"I'm Jakotsu," he said, a big, child-like smile on his face, patting my hair down more.

"Don't baby her," another one of them shouted back to us. He had a cloth of his head and an angered look on his face, "We're going to be setting up camp soon."

Only a little ways after that, Bankotsu drove his blade into the ground, "Here," he declared. The Band of Seven got to work. I was surprised to see Bankotsu pitching in as well...he was in charge, but he put in his full effort, while I just awkwardly stood and watched as they hammered stakes into the ground.

"Shouldn't you be getting our food?" the one with the metal claws asked me in a deep, gruff voice. I kind of jumped and worked on getting a fire started. I was struggling with the two rocks when the man with the cloth on his head took a swig out of a jar he had around his waist and blew flames into the wood I had gathered...just inches away from my face. My eyes widened. I knew they expected me to scream. Or cry. Or whimper, but instead, I calmly put the rocks down and started rooting through their bags to find something edible. There didn't seem to be much...only a few shriveled potatoes...what kind of life did they lead? I grumbled as I found more herbs around to make a decent broth.

Because there were seven of them, they finished their work quickly, while there was only one of me. They sat around the fire as I nervously continued to stir the soup I had managed to make.I wasn't sure if it was the fire or my own sanity crackling. Someone had to say something soon...

That was when the rotten log I had been sitting on collapsed underneath me and the whole Band of Seven starting laughing.


I gulped and concentrated and giving the soup out, first to Bankotsu, then the man in the headscarf who seemed to be second-in-command, then Jakotsu, who was the only one that had been nice to me so far. I continued going around until I came to the one who was more than twice the size of an average man. The whole pot could have fit in his mouth, but I still handed him the bowl, and they all started laughing again.

"No need to give Kyokotsu food," Bankotsu explained as he chuckled, "he'll catch his own later."

So I poured it back into the pot and resumed my seat to proceed to watch the men eat like slobs. The chugged the soup, and when they were finished, they tossed their bowls at me. I couldn't count how many servings they each had, but eventually there was only enough left for one bowl, and Renkotsu, as I found the clothed-man's name to be, eagerly pushed his at me when Bankotsu put a hand on my chest and pushed me back slightly.

"You haven't had anything to eat, take that for yourself."

I didn't look Renkotsu, or Bankotsu, for that matter, in the eye as I picked up Kyokotsu's unused bowl and filled it for myself. I was hungry. Bankotsu smirked.

"We can't have our first permanent servant die on the first night."

I couldn't hold it in anymore, "Servant? Ha! I'm your slave!" I shouted.

"Fine, slave-girl, have it your way."

I started fuming at that, barely able to hold a spoonful of soup. I wanted to kill him. I wanted to shove the spoon down his throat. How embarrassing would that be for the leader of the Band of Seven? Death by dinky captured spoon-wielding fifteen-year-old? And he hadn't even stopped...

"But have you ever realized that as long as you don't anger us, you've guaranteed your own pathetic existence?"

I had thought of that, but I also knew I wasn't worried about other people killing me, only them.

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze, and love is a riddle
I don't know where to go
Can't do it alone
I've tried, but I don't know why

Slow it down, make it stop
Or else my heart is going to pop
'Cause its to much, yeah its a lot
To be something I'm not

I'm a fool, out of love
'Cause I just can't get enough

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze, and love is a riddle
I don't know where to go
Can't do it alone
I've tried, but I don't know why

I'm just a little girl lost in the moment
I'm so scared but I don't show it
I can't figure it out
It's bringing me down
I know, I've got to let it go

And just enjoy the show

The sun is hot in the sky
Just like a giant spot light
The people follow the signs
And synchronize in time

It's a joke, nobody knows
they've got a ticket to the
show.

Yeah, I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze, and love is a riddle
I don't know where to go
Can't do it alone
I've tried, but I don't know why

I'm just a little girl lost in the moment
I'm so scared but I don't show it
I can't figure it out
It's bringing me down
I know, I've got to let it go

And just enjoy the show

Just enjoy the show
I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze, and love is a riddle
I don't know where to go
Can't do it alone
I've tried, but I don't know why

I'm just a little girl lost in the moment
I'm so scared but I don't show it
I can't figure it out
It's bringing me down
I know, I've got to let it go

And just enjoy the show

[Yuliya]

Chapter Three: Escaping the Eyes

I found myself getting used to the routine of serving the Band of Seven.They were usually gone the whole day, and often the whole night. However, at least one of them would always be with me. They would walk with me, build a new shelter, eat my food, and then be replaced by someone else in the morning. Sometimes they would all be with me, but that would only happen after a job had been finished.

Renkotsu was by far the cruelest to me, whereas Jakotsu doted on me and brought me new things. Suikotsu would mostly tease me, but every once in awhile he would save me from Renkotsu's verbal attacks. Kyokotsu wasn't really a clever one, so he wouldn't say anything, or make any noise at all, unless he was laughing at something one of the others said. Only, laughing wasn't the right word for it, more like starting an earthquake. Although Ginkotsu adored Renkotsu, he seemed to like me, and once brought me flowers. As it turned out, he was really sweet. Mukotsu...didn't really talk at all, and somewhat scared me.

Then there was Bankotsu. Of all of them, he would stay with me the least. When he did come, he was always silent. The most he would say to me was to call me slave-girl and order me to do something. I could hardly stand those times, because unlike with Kyokotsu and Mukotsu, this was silence where...it felt like one of us was trying to say something. When all of us were together and the others were talking about gory battles, he would stop them so I could keep my stomach, but that wouldn't stop him from picking a fight with me later. It seemed like even when he was away I couldn't escape his eyes, always in a stare that wasn't cold, but wasn't warm either.

It was on one such night I was curled up in the corner of the tent and trying to get some sleep. All I could hear was the steady rhythm of Bankotsu's breathing...and then there was another sound, one of marching feet. Bankotsu's breathing stopped as he grabbed Banryuu and went outside. I gripped the small dagger Jakotsu had given me, as it was the only weapon I was allowed to have, lest I turned on them.

"I heard the great leader of the Band of Seven was staying here all by himself," a man snickered.

"Not all by himself," I muttered, peeking out of the entrance to see what was going on. It seemed a bunch of soldiers had surrounded us. A small prickle of fear entered my heart.

"So you want to test your strength against I, Bankotsu. I get it, I get it. I'll take no pleasure in killing you...oh wait, I will."

Then they attacked. my heart couldn't help thumping as I watched the fight, even though it was obvious Bankotsu was winning. He was cutting down men like a farmer cuts down wheat. At least, that was until, as he stood over the last of the men he killed, the leader of the soldiers crept up behind him and snatched Banryuu out of his hands. Although he wouldn't be able to wield the halberd himself, Bankotsu now was caught without a weapon, and too surprised to do anything.

"Say your prayers, Bankotsu of the Band of Seven."

That was when I lept from my hiding spot and stabbed my dagger into his heart.

He looked surprised, and I was surprised too, as he fell to the ground, quite dead. It was the first time I had ever killed anyone. At first, I was horrified at myself. I had just taken a life. What if this man had children and a wife who depended on him? I looked at Bankotsu, and wondered how this could be his living, but also as I looked, I saw it through his eyes. This was a life that needed to be taken. It was for protecting something. What if...what if Bankotsu did not kill out of blood-thirst, but of the need to prove that he could protect something if the need ever came?

"I thought you wanted me dead," he said as I wiped the blood off my dagger on the grass.

"If he had survived, and he had found me..." I shuddered, "you know what he would have done." After retrieving his Banryuu, we both went back into the tent.

I tried to curl up with my blanket, but I just couldn't get to sleep after that, I gave up and paced around. Obviously, Bankotsu was awake too, because he sat up. He looked at me with amusement and knowing on his face.

"I get tense when it's night and I can't sleep and there's nothing to do," I admitted. He smirked.

"Oh, there's plenty of things we can do alone together," he said, reaching out an arm and pulling me, frozen, into his lap. "Lot's of things," he whispered hoarsely in my ear.

My eyes widened, and then I wrenched myself from his grip and ran. I ran as deep into the forest as I could, and when I couldn't anymore, I climbed. I didn't stop until I was sure I was far enough away. Only when I stopped did I have enough to time to think about what had happened.

What had just happened back there? What was going to happen? What did this mean?

I stayed there until I was sure he had been replaced by someone else in the morning. I returned to find Suikotsu taking down the tent.

"Man, what did you do to him?"

"What?" I asked, sounding dumb.

"I heard you ran away for the night, but he looked like you had put him in a timeout or something."

"Maybe he's just pouting because he almost lost a fight yesterday. Where are we going?" I asked, changing the subject quickly.

I prayed that Bankotsu wouldn't tell the rest of the Band of Seven what had happened. I prayed he wouldn't try again.

Most of that day passed partly in a daze and partly in happiness. Suikotsu was like a rougher, gruffer version of my older brother. Sometimes it was hard to believe these men were cold-hearted killers, and it surprised me that I had almost grown fond of the ruthless warriors who had made me their slave.

That night, it was freezing. I desperately wanted sleep due to the lack thereof the previous night, but it was hard when I couldn't feel my feet. I could hear Suikotsu shuffling around as well.

"Come closer," he said. I scooted over, welcome to share any heat. But then, he started taking off his clothes.

"What are you doing?" I asked sharply. I didn't expect anything horrific, after all, he treated me like a younger sister as well. I was just genuinely surprised.

"It's cold, this is the best way to stay warm. Don't worry, I won't make you do it."

That was good enough of an answer for me, so I turned to face the other way as the warmth came back into my body, blankets covering the bottom half of my face.

I can see from across the room
There's a tear in your starry eye
I was leaving but I'm coming back
Since your hearts in beat with mine
That mark didn't do you right
When you left in your best friend's ride
With the face of angel, girl
You deserve to be treated more than right

Realized I was passing through
From the moment I saw you
I was hypnotized
Couldn't wait to get you alone
So I could walk with you
So I could talk with you, oh

Go ahead and call your friends
I'll do whatever it takes
So I can make you trust
This party's going south
Let me know what's going on with us

Cause it's all right
There's nothing to stop us
If it feels right
Then everything's fine
For just one night
Then you go back to your life
And I'll go back to mine

Last night I saw a photograph
From the party where we chilled
(Party where we chilled)
It was showing the two of us
And the Colt 45 we killed
(Colt 45 we killed)
Here I'm just writing you a letter
From the distance past
Enclosed is a photograph
To remind you of the times we had

Cause it's all right
There's nothing to stop us
If it feels right
Then everything's fine
For just one night
Baby, go back to your life
And I'll go back to mine

It's all right
(We can make it if we want to, baby)
It's all right
(I would love to show you the way)
For tonight
(I'm not talking about forever)
I'm just talking tonight

I can see from across the room
There's a tear in your starry eye
I was leaving but I'm coming back
Since your hearts in beat with mine
That mark didn't do you right
When you left in your best friend's ride
With the face of angel, girl
You deserve to be treated more than right

Cause it's all right
There's nothing to stop us
If it feels right
Then everything's fine
For just one night
Then you go back to your life
And I'll go back to mine

Cause it's all right
There's nothing to stop us
If it feels right
Then everything's fine
For just one night
Then you go back to your life
And I'll go back to mine
(Don't you know, girl, that)
Then I'll go back to mine

[Yuliya]

Chapter Four: Utter Confusion

I woke groggily with a shadow across my face, hearing Suikotsu yawn and then feeling him sit up."Morning, Bankotsu." Bankotsu was back again? Already?

A small, guttural noise that definitely didn't come from Suikotsu filled the room, and then the shadow left my face.

"What's his problem?"

I shot up, just realizing what Bankotsu had seen, how Suikotsu and I had looked, so close together...and when Suikotsu had sat up he had revealed that he was wearing no shirt...

"Just a sec," I said, leaving the tent. I didn't really know why I cared. If Bankotsu wanted to be stupid and believe that, it didn't really matter, but I guess I just didn't want anyone to think I had done something like that. I saw him pacing and muttering to himself just a little ways away from the entrance.

"Bankotsu...?" The blade of Banryuu came up and was pressed against my throat, and when I looked in his eyes I saw pure hate. He had warned me not to anger any of them. I guess death was the price I'd pay for my dignity.

"Today we'll leave you off at the nearest village and then you can do whatever you want," he said darkly and painfully, as if he could barely get the words out.

"I wan-"

"Don't push me."

"What I want is to stay," I told him, barely believing my own words. They weren't even true. Sure, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, but I wanted to go home. Why was I turning down this chance? It felt like something was holding me back...

"What? So you can stay with him and be his toy?" he spat, gripping Banryuu so tightly his knuckles turned white, "Oh, I get it, you like taller men!"

I swear I growled at him, "I never have, and never will do anything like that."

"Am I supposed to believe that?"

"It was cold! I want to stay because I like being with all of you!"

"You don't like being with me."

"Why should I?" He couldn't come up with a reply for that, "All you ever do is order me around and force me to make a fool of myself. You always make me think you're going to say something but then you stay silent! First you act friendly and then you go out of your way to be mean, it's confusing!"

"Dammit!" he yelled, grabbing my hair like that day so long ago he had taken me, "Do you know why I chose?"

I cringed as he pulled harder, and grew scared of the look he was giving me, "No," I whimpered, hating the sound of my pained voice.

"You were the only one who was brave enough to look me in the eye." He pulled me closer, "And do you know why I kept you?"

This time I bitterly shook my head, refusing to look weak.

"Because you're the only person in the whole world who had ever talked back to me." And then, he put his lips to mine and kissed me.

I didn't know what to think...or I couldn't think at all. When had this happened? Hadn't I only just seen him for the first time? I could count the times I had spoken to him on my hands.

Yet I stayed right there, in the moment that seemed to last forever. I needed air, but I didn't want to be the one to pull away. One of his hands caressed my cheek while the other was laid on my waist. My hands eventually found his shoulders, deepening it only slightly. But all too suddenly, he gently broke away. I gasped one breath and then put my head on his chest, feeling him pull me closer.

This was what I had been waiting for. This was why I had not been able to leave. I needed to know what he had really thought of me. But...did I really know that?

He sent Suikotsu away, and sprawled at the foot of a tree, pulling me with him. I must have been frowning. I was trying to figure it out, while he seemed to think it was settled.

"We have a whole day ahead of ourselves," he said, leaning back with his eyes closed, "Tell me more about yourself."

"Okay..." I said, now worried. What was wrong with me? Why couldn't I just accept this? "My mother died, so it was just me, my dad, and my brother. I've...been saving up to buy my own horse..."

"A horse?" he interrupted.

"Yeah," I replied, "I really like them."

He looked thoughtful for a moment, and then I continued with whatever I could think of.

"My father wants me to be more than just a housewife, and he was going to train me to fight. My brother wants to become a doctor. I like the colors blue and white, but I adore rainbows. Light drizzles are nice, but I hate it when it's just plain cloudy. I can cook fine, but I'm mostly good at sweet things. My hands are too clumsy for mending, but I can weave pretty well, if we get the material for it. I love to look at the stars..." As I talked about my old life, the more I yearned for it. It was who I was, and was staying here with him really worth it? Or would I lose myself forever?

"That's all," I said, standing up, "I'm leaving."

Shock filled his eyes, "What? But..."

"I just realized...god, I was so stupid. All you did was kiss me and now suddenly everything is better?"

"Well, you..."

"What? Fell into step behind you? It was my first, I couldn't help it. How can I stay when I have a whole nother life that needs me?"

"You just said you liked being with all of us."

"I was confused," I spat, growing even more confused with each word I spoke, "I thought you were going to kill me. If I stay, all I will ever be is your personal slave girl. I want more than that. You don't love me, you love the idea of me belonging to you. Goodbye, Bankotsu, this time for good."

He didn't say anything as I turned around and started walking away. I didn't look back to see the anger, hurt, and the look of being betrayed in his eyes.

Your beautiful eyes
Stare right into my eyes
And sometimes I think of you late at night
I don't know why
I want to be somewhere where you are
I wanna be where

You're here, your eyes are looking into mine
So baby, make me fly
My heart has never felt this way before
I'm looking through your
I'm looking through your eyes

I wake up, I'm alive
In only a little while... I cry
Cause you're my lullaby
So baby hold me tight cause I-I
I want to be everything you need
I want to be where...

You're here, your eyes are looking into mine
So baby, make me fly
My heart has never felt this way before
I'm looking through your
I'm looking through your eyes

Just as long as you're mine
I'll be you're everything tonight
Let me love you, let me kiss you
Oh baby let me miss you
Let me see your
Dream about
Dream about
Dream about your eyes
Eyes, eyes... beautiful eyes

[/size]

[Yuliya]

Chapter Five: His Last Night Alive

When I got back to the village after being gone for almost a year, my family thanked the gos that I had returned. They thought I had been lost to them forever."Did you escape?" my father asked with glimmering eyes.

"No, they let me go."

I got back into the routine of my daily life, and with help from my brother, I learned how to defend myself and how to fight. With each day, I grew more strong and more proud of the person I was becoming. This life I had chosen was the one I wanted to live forever and always. No loner would I be weak. No longer would I obey orders.

But still, not a day could pass without me thinking of the Band of Seven. Considering they were the most blood-thirsty warriors in the region, they had been quite kind to me. Although it had always been hard, I had never really found myself hating my capturers, and it wasn't just because I had spent a year with them. I had seen who they really were.

My thoughts mostly revolved around Bankotsu. I couldn't be sure if my last encounter with him was my proudest moment or my biggest regret. Some days I would moan over the fact that I had never given him a chance to prove his "love," other days I snapped to the conclusion that he hadn't deserved one. But I definitely knew I would not have another chance. I would never return, how could I? When I was the lone person who had gotten to his heart and hurt him? He would kill me.

A day arose nearly two months after I had come back. Snow was on the ground. I grimaced, having grown to hate the cold ever since that one night with Suikotsu. The air was thin and crackled with a dazzling but nerve-wracking electricity that sent shivers up my spine. Something was not right.

I was standing outside our small house when my father came from behind me and put his hands on my shoulders, squeezing them slightly.

"You'll be pleased to learn, daughter, that the lords of the region have united to exterminate the Band of Seven."

I froze, and not from the cold, "What?"

"They set up a trap for them. I hear they're hiding in the moutai-"

"I have to go, father," I said, barely holding in my agony as I pulled away from his grip, "I have to go now."

In all my calculations about my new life, I had never thought this would happen. I had based the guess that my new life was better on the fact that I knew the Band of Seven were alive and well somewhere else, thinking of me. All this time I had known I would be able to see Bankotsu if I really wanted to, even if he were to kill me, but now...

For a long time, I didn't think of anything but finding the Band of Seven. The easy paths up the mountain were filled with soldiers, so I had to take a more treacherous route. I looked everywhere I could, praying that I would find them first.

Just as the sun was starting to set, I heard a whoosh of flames and someone saying, "Put it out, you pyromaniac idiot." I had found them.

I burst through the underbrush into the small space in front of a well hidden cave. The clank of weapons was sounded, but they soon fell silent.

"Is that our slave-girl?" Suikotsu questioned.

"Bankotsu, I thought you said that she got kidnapped and wasn't worth going after!" Jakotsu complained. I didn't say anything, I just looked at Bankotsu.

He came up to me and took one of my hands in both of his. Looking down at me, I saw that he had forgiven me, "You came back."

"I did," I said, voice quavering, "I guess it was better to stop thinking and do what I wanted to do, d**n the consequences."

He allowed himself a small smile at that, and then led me to reunite with the others.

I was glad that I had returned, more glad than anything. I knew that if I hadn't come back, I would have regretted it forever. Everyone was uneasy, but they tried to be lighthearted about their situation, especially since I had returned. Renkotsu started giving me crap about it, but Jakotsu hugged me and Suikotsu gave me a noogie. Ginkotsu clanked excitedly. They weren't just the Band of Seven, they were my Band of Seven, and I knew they couldn't continue like this much longer.

I wanted to stay the night. At first they said they didn't want to risk it, but eventually my begging got to them and they agreed.

Just as I was getting up, Bankotsu grabbed my upper arm and whispered throatily in my ear, "Spend the night with me."

I looked up into his deep blue eyes, searching for something I didn't know. In them I saw desire, which was to be expected, desperation, I guessed from his situation, and something else I couldn't put a finger on. Only later would I realize that it was love.

"I might be killed tomorrow, and I want...no regrets."

I stood on my tippy-toes to lightly kiss him on the lips, and as I pulled only an inch away, I whispered back to him, "If you're going to die tomorrow, then that's what I want too."

His hot breath came on my face as he smiled. Quickly, he led me to a cave separate from the others, and then, his wish was granted.

Say a prayer
The summer nights are dead
The fall is coming
We were careless hearts
Who got caught up in this

You were shy
To the night you drove me wild
And you crashed into me
And I won't lie
I wish it lasted a lifetime

Please stay-ay-ay
Won't you stay-ay-ay
Tonight

Breathe in deep
And say goodbye
The saddest song
I'll ever write
For anyone, anytime

Breathe in deep
Before I say
I can feel us slip away
You're almost gone
You're good as gone
August is over

Now we wait
Cause August had to end
All our bags are packed
Just two broken hearts
That got caught up in this

I deny
That tomorrow you'll be gone
And so far from me
It's something strange
Never love the same way

Please stay-ay-ay
Won't you stay-ay-ay
Tonight

Breathe in deep
And say goodbye
The saddest song
I'll ever write
For anyone, anytime

Breathe in deep
Before I say
I can feel us slip away
You're almost gone
You're good as gone

We can try to drown it out
But it never stops breathing
We can take it all in
But it never slows down
We've come down from that cloud

Well say-ay-ay
What you gotta say-ay-ay
Please say-ay-ay
What you gotta say
Whoa-a-oh-oh
Whoa-a-oh-oh

Breathe in deep
And say goodbye
The saddest song
I'll ever write
For anyone, anytime

Breathe in deep
Before I say
I can feel us slip away
You're almost gone
You're good as gone
August is over
We're not the reason
August is over

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[Yuliya]

Chapter Six: This is Not the End

When I woke up the next morning, they were already gone, but I could feel the warm spot where Bankotsu had lain, so I knew it had not been a dream. In a panic, I raced out of the cave and followed their faint trail. Thankfully, they had not gotten too far away and I found them struggling in the snow. I didn't bother to hold myself back; I threw my arms around Bankotsu.

"What makes you think you could just leave like that?" I cried, rubbing my face on his always-warm chest. He lifted my chin with one hand.

"The soldiers are chasing us. They won't see sense and they'll slaughter you with the rest of us."

"What makes you think I care? Our time has been so short...I'll die with you and see you in the afterlife, no matter where you go!"

"I don't believe in the afterlife, which is why you need to enjoy your life as much as possible the way you want it to be." Then he kissed me. He didn't bother being gentle, and I didn't care either, it was rough and hard...and our last. As we parted, with a shaky breath, he looked into my eyes for the last time, hearing the soldiers clanking behind us, he said, "There's something waiting for you in the village...live long." Then he and the others turned and ran. I watched them, but that was not the last time I saw them.

I kept in the bushes, following quietly as cascades of soldiers came past me, hoping the Band of Seven would somehow find a way to escape. More snow was coming down, but I had no intention of leaving. I had to know what happened. That was when I peered out into a clearing, and saw my worst fears had been realized.

Six of the seven had already been beheaded, their bodies in a pile that I could not bear to look at. The last one was Bankotsu. They saved him for last so he would watch the death of his comrades.His hands were tied behind his back, and I gasped to see and arrow in his right thigh, oozing out blood. He grunted as he was forced to the ground. I couldn't help it; tears fell from my eyes as they tried to make such a strong man seem small. They pushed his head down when the general with the sharpened sword came up to him. Bankotsu pushed his head up slightly to look the general in the eye, a look that said everything, a look that spoke of revenge, a look that said he was not afraid, and a look that meant this was not the end. I closed my eyes as the horrible thunk sound echoed through the mountains, a sound that would haunt me forever and chase me in nightmares.

I returned in my village in a daze, stumbling around, not being able to see clearly. And if I closed my eyes, Bankotsu would give me that look...

Tied to the front of my house was a glistening pale horse. At first I didn't register it, but when I looked into the blue eyes...I saw it was real. This was what Bankotsu had given me. He must have gotten someone to bring it here while I had gone off searching for him. He had wanted to give me this gift even before I had returned.

I wrapped my fingers in the mane of the gelding, as I found it later to be, and let the tears commence. I had spent so little time with him, yet i had given him most of my life. How could I go on?

But that was what he had wanted. He wanted me to live long and enjoy life. I would try my best.

"I'll name you Banryuu," I said to the newly named horse as I swung up onto his back. Then, I reached one hand under my clothes to rest on my stomach.

"And I'll name you after your father."

I clucked, and then rode away.

Give me a reason to believe that you're gone
I see your shadow so I know they're all wrong
Moonlight on the soft brown earth
It leads me to where you lay
They took you away from me but now I'm taking you home

I will stay forever here with you
My love
The softly spoken words you gave me
Even in death our love goes on

Some say I'm crazy for my love, Oh my love
But no bonds can hold me from your side, Oh my love
They don't know you can't leave me
They don't hear you singing to me

I will stay forever here with you
My love
The softly spoken words you gave me
Even in death our love goes on

And I can't love you, anymore than I do

I will stay forever here with you
My love
The softly spoken words you gave me
Even in death our love goes on

And I can't love you, anymore than I do

People die, but real love is forever.

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[Yuliya]

Chapter Seven: My Promise to Him

I left my village forever, not wanting them to know that I was with child. I would be interrogated on who the father was, and if they ever found out, I would be considered a traitor, and most likely sentence to death. I considered it my promise to Bankotsu to live.

So I forged a new life in a nearby village. No one ever came to look for me, and that was fine. This village had built a grave for the Band of Seven , and since no else was willing, I became the shrinekeeper. Many people thought my devotion to my job was odd, but that didn't concern me. I spent hours by the grave everyday, praying that their souls had found rest.

Nine months later, I gave birth to my baby, and surprisingly, it was quite painless. My midwife said she had never seen anything like it. I liked to think it was the world apologizing to me.

"It's a boy," I declared even before I saw him.

"How did you know?" she asked as she laid my precious baby in my arms. Already he looked like the leader of the Band of Seven, with coal black hair, tanned skin, high cheekbones, and eyes like a cat. The only difference was that he had dark silver eyes.

"I just did," I explained to her, "A mother always knows." I had known the whole time that I would give birth to a boy. Bankotsu would have wanted a son to protect me like he had. He would have wanted a boy to remind me of him.

"What will you name him?"

"Bankotsu," I said without hesitation. She gasped.

"Do you want to bring the wrath of the Band of Seven on you?"

"I think it will make them pleased. It only makes sense for me to name my firstborn after their leader. After all, I am their shrinekeeper."

Her nervousness fell away, "Yes, of course."

And so, my baby Bankotsu became my life. Everyday he grew to look more like his father. When his hair grew long enough, he even let me braid it. He joined me when I worshiped at the shrine, and pampered our horse, Banryuu, as much as I did. When the village boys played "Band of Seven," he always played the "villain" with no hesitation.

"You don't always have to play Bankotsu just because you're named after him," I told him, "You can be whoever you want."

"I like being him," he said, "He didn't seen all that bad to me. He was brave and loyal, don't you agree, mother?"

I went on my knees and hugged him to my chest, "Yes, I agree completely."

When he got old enough, I started training him to be strong, and he was quite a natural. My own strength was quite enough to teach him, though I wished I could give him the real Banryuu, but it was not kept in the grave. It had become the castle's treasure, and was far out of my reach.

Most of the villagers thought my son and I were a little bit odd, but they were kind to us. They considered me a poor girl who had been taken advantage of and therefore had her first child much too early, and I supposed that was why I received so much sympathy. I didn't need to tell them the truth.

There was one person who had never accepted me: the general of the castle. Whenever he saw me, he would regard me with a cold stare and say nothing, except for the first time he saw me,

"I seem to recognize you from somewhere..."

"I assure you, sir, you have never seen me before."

It was hard not to scream and lunge at him with the dagger I still kept with me at all times, the one Jakotsu had given me.

One day, nine years after the "extermination," of the Band of Seven, Bankotsu came running from the village and jumped into my lap, rubbing his head on my chest, looking like the miniature spitting image of his namesake.

"What's the matter, darling?" I asked him, pushing his bangs out of his eyes.

"The kids say I'll never become a real warrior because I don't have a father!" he cried. He looked up at me with his beautiful eyes, "Is it true he left you? Was I a mistake?" I started rubbing his back and gave him a kiss on the top of his head.

"Of course not, you're the best thing in my life. And your father did not leave me, he died a warrior's death."

"Really? Who was he?"

I sighed. I knew I would have to tell him someday; he was growing older fast. But I was scared that he would leave me and not be proud, but disgusted.

"How much do you know about me coming to this village?" I asked him.

"They say you showed up a little after the Band of Seven were beheaded and you became the shrinekeeper, then, nine months later, you had me."

"Exactly, but the time I came was not a coincidence."

His eyes furrowed in confusion, "What does the Band of Seven being killed have to do with this?"

Everything. "I'll tell you. When I was fifteen, the Band of Seven were at the height of their power. They came into my village and demanded a servant. Guess who they chose?"

"You?"

"That's right. At first I was scared. They were bloodthirsty killers. But, I eventually grew fond of me. Over all, they were quite kind to me and protected me. However, one of them was different," I paused to choke a breath, wondering how to explain this to an eight-year-old, "Bankotsu...said he loved me, and at first, I thought so too, but then I decided I didn't want to live my whole life with the Band of Seven, and so I left."

"You just left?"

"He let me. I went back to my village and stayed there for two months. That was when my father told me a trap had been set for the Band of Seven."

His eyes grew wide, "What did you do then?"

"I realized I loved Bankotsu too, so I raced up the mountain to see him. They all knew they were going to die, and I wanted to die with them, but Bankotsu made me promise to live, and so I said my last goodbyes. The next day, they were all killed. I couldn't go back to my village, so I came here to fulfill my promise."

"Does that mean...Bankotsu is my father?"

"Yes, it does."

I hugged him to myself, certain it would be for the last time. He would never be able to tell anyone who his father was, the villain of every story he had ever been told in the village. How would he be able to stand living with me for making his future life so hard? That was when he said quietly to me, "I'll make father proud."

Tears fell from my eyes, "I know you will, Bankotsu, I know you will."

Of all the things I've believed in
I just want to get it over with
Tears form behind my eyes
But I do not cry
Counting the days that pass me by

I've been searching deep down in my soul
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old
It feels like I'm starting all over again
The last ten years were just pretend
And I said,

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

I still get lost in your eyes
And it seems that I can't live a day without you
Closing my eyes and you chase my thoughts away
To a place where I am blinded by the light
But it's not right

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time
I want what's yours and I want what's mine
I want you
But I'm not giving in this time

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

And when the stars fall
I will lie awake
You're my shooting star

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